Healing for Emotional Hurts

Why do people join cults?  Doctrinal issues alone -- such things as the nature of God, the Trinity, the inspiration of Scripture, the return of Christ, the person and work of Christ, and the incarnation, -- have little, if anything, to do with why most people join cults.  The three main reasons why people join are: (1) healing for emotional hurts, (2) establishing friendships and relationships, and (3) spiritual growth.

Early childhood experience usually contributes to the emotional needs that one exhibits as an adult.  The unmet emotional needs of a child from a broken, cold, or abusive home may make a cult seem more attractive.  "Here," the person may reason, "is the love, the warmth, and the security that I never had as a child."  He or she may think, "I've found my true family."  The person enmeshed in the cult may often in fact start to call the leaders of the group "Mom" and "Dad."

Others are attracted to cults because they offer help with personal or drug problems.  Sad to say in these cults the members often feel more loved, cared for, and secure than in more traditional churches.  They enjoy teaching, often-wanted, and needed discipline, and a strong prayer life.  And they learn how to help and express love to others.  

Research shows that young people are more vulnerable to cultic affiliation during or immediately after suffering a severe crisis.  Some of these crises are the death of a relative or close friend; a broken romance or a divorce in the family; job loss or inability to find employment; poor grades or failure in school; excessive amounts of business-related travel for one or both parents; illness, whether of self or a close friend or relative; transition from high school to college; or, criminal victimization, including burglary, rape, or mugging.

Why are kids more vulnerable during or after one of these crises?  It is because each one of these situations represents a loss -- and introduces both a lack of control and feelings of helplessness.  We all need certain things to live life normally, including friends, a job, a sense of being accepted by our peers, a feeling of self-worth, and an absence of trauma.  

Most cults train their recruiters to minister to felt needs.  Susan, a college student, had recently lost a close friend and had performed poorly on exams.  Susan mentioned the loss of her friend to Leann, a casual acquaintance.  Leann, a fringe church member and active recruiter, carefully and sensitively responded to Susan.  They got into a conversation.  Leann listened attentively and occasionally uttered such remarks as, "Oh, that must be a terrible loss for you," or "You seem sad and feel that no one understands."  Finally, she offered to talk with Susan again, then she invited her to a meeting.  

People in cults or fringe churches are good listeners.  This casual friend allowed Susan to open up about her personal troubles.  During a crisis situation, Susan was not concerned with why someone would care so much about her problems, or why a casual acquaintance would seem a bit too caring.

Jehovah Witnesses actually recruit some members by reading and following up on the obituary columns, because they know people are vulnerable after the loss of a spouse, a relative, or a close friend.  One of my good friends, Don, lost his mother to the Jehovah's Witnesses after his father died.  In the first few weeks after his death, friends, relatives, and members of their church were supportive -- they sent cards and flowers, and made frequent visits with words of support.  People dropped off meals and offered to run errands but after the first several weeks the pastor, the church members, and the friends erroneously assumed the crisis was over.  They went back to their normal affairs and left the grieving widow alone but the Watchtower cult didn't; they continued to support Don's mother.  She was lonely and grieving, and they were there for her.

This woman had been active in the church all her life, and she prayed and read her Bible daily.  She took pains to see that her three sons were raised in the church and were active as Christians.  Nevertheless, she joined the Jehovah's Witnesses.  Why?  Simply because this group gave her the continued love, support, friendship, and understanding that she needed during a crisis.  Actually, people need the most support after the two-to-three weeks of a severe crisis or loss.  The cults have learned that when most people stop calling and showing care, that that is the time to begin.  They did it and the church didn't.  She is still a member of the Watchtower society, viewing the church she once faithfully attended and served as an apostate group falsely worshipping Jehovah.

(from Cult Proofing Your Kids by Dr. Paul F. Martin)