Establishing Friendships and Relationships

Young people also join cults for friendships and relationships.  Parents need to keep in mind that cults are usually better at showing attention, concern, and love than the average religious organization.  Part of cult-proofing your kids is to forewarn them that any group or person seeming to be too loving, too caring, and overly-concerned must be responded to with extreme caution.  

According to Harold Bussell, cultic recruits were attracted by "group sharing, community and caring."  In my own work with former cult members I can certainly concur.  One young college man I counselled was attracted to a cult because of the warm "relationships" between people.  A young woman who attended one of the Big Eight universities told me she joined a fringe church because they spent time with her, teaching her how to become a Christian.  A young man from the east coast joined a well-known cult, The Way International, because he "made a lot of friends in the group."  And a woman from Pennsylvania with a degree from the University of Michigan joined a hyper-charismatic fringe church because of the "fellowship."  She also said that the "relationships were phenomenal" in this group.  

Characteristics of Cultic Friendships

Cult members seem to be friendly, caring, sensitive and honest.  In realty, however, they are often dishonest, manipulative, and destructive.  Following is a list of characteristics of cultic friendships.

1. Cultic friendships do not encourage honesty and openness.
2. Cultic friendships are one-way relationships.
3. Cultic friendships do not affirm your talents and interests.
4. Cultic friendships discourage your relationships with friends and family.
5. Cultic friendships try to change your personality.
6. Cultic friendships try to change your morality.

(from Cult Proofing Your Kids by Dr. Paul R. Martin)