What Are Toxic Faith & Religious Addiction?

Toxic faith is a destructive and dangerous involvement in a religion that allows the religion, not a relationship with God, to control a person’s life. People broken by various experiences, people from dysfunctional families, people with unrealistic expectations, and people out for their own gain or comfort seem especially prone to it. It is a defective faith with an incomplete or tainted view of God. It is abusive and manipulative and can become addictive. It becomes so central to a person’s life that family and friends become insignificant compared with the need to uphold the false beliefs.

Those with toxic faith use it to avoid reality and responsibility. It often results in perfectionism; people are driven to perform and work in an attempt to earn their way to heaven or at least to gain favour with God. Like other addictions, it causes great damage but the addicted continue to pursue it.

Toxic faith has nothing to do with God and everything to do with men and women who want to concoct a god or faith that serves self rather than honours God. In short, toxic faith is an excuse. It is an excuse for an abusive husband to mistreat his wife because he believes God would want her to submit to him as if he were God. It is an excuse to put off dealing with the pain in life. It is an excuse to wait for God to do what He wants you to do. It provides a distraction through compulsive “churchaholism” or religious ritual.

Toxic faith is also a counterfeit for the spiritual growth that can occur through a genuine relationship with God. The toxic faithful find a replacement for God. How they look becomes more important than who God is. Acts of religion replace steps of growth. A façade is substituted for a heart longing to know God. The façade forms a barrier between the believer and God, leaving the believer to survive with only a destructive addiction to religion.

Characteristics of Religious Addicts

Plenty of people are susceptible to religious addiction. Their brokenness, misery, and conflict leave them open to becoming hooked on working hard to win God’s favour or believing any doctrine that promises to make life easier. They develop toxic-faith practices that become every bit as addictive as heroin. Out of a desire to delay or deny pain, they develop their own toxic beliefs. There are many variations of religious addicts.

Common Characteristics of Religious Addicts

• Rigid parents.
• Experience of disappointment.
• Low self-worth.
• Victims of abuse.

Rigid Parents

As strange as it may seem, the child who grew up with a rigid parent (or parents) enters adulthood attracted to those who serve up any form of rigidity. One might think that once freed from the rigidity, the adult child would avoid it. Instead the individual is often drawn to it, which makes the person highly susceptible to an addictive religious system or to follow a toxic-faith leader. Why is this so? One explanation is that human beings are creatures of habit. Or perhaps people are drawn towards a rigid system because they have a hidden desire to fix it, to loosen themselves up and free themselves to enjoy life – something they were unable to achieve with their parents.

Experience of Disappointment

A deep wound from a major disappointment lies in the background of most religious addicts. It might have been the early loss of a parent or parental divorce. It could have been their own divorce or abandonment in later life. The loss and disappointment cause a tremendous fear of yet another abandonment. Addicts become attracted to and attached to any group that promises acceptance without risk. Often the group promises instant relief or gratification. Feeling the pain from their disappointment, religious addicts want relief, especially if it does not require effort on their part.

Low Self-Worth

We all know that peer-pressure helps to destroy many young people. But we seem to forget it is just as powerful among adults. If people do not value themselves or have their own beliefs, they will fall victim to the pressure to conform. They cross over a line from rational to irrational belief. Distrusting their ability to discern truth from manipulation, they go along with the group consensus even if it invalidates everything they’ve been taught.

Persons with low self-worth feel alienated and isolated. They want to belong and be accepted. Toxic-faith leaders know this. They can pick out wounded followers who are looking for someone to make them feel important. Under the guise of ministry they cater to people’s weaknesses until those people believe they are receiving genuine caring. Thus, the religious group gets new members potentially forever.

Toxic-faith practitioners seek out those with low self-worth and minimal boundaries. They ask them to trust just a little. With that first step of trust, the targets are flooded with affirmation and love. Every need is met. Childhood trauma is soon forgotten, in the euphoria prompted by so much affection. The ones being manipulated then place greater trust in the leader. Even when they notice exploitation, the new followers don’t turn away, because they continue to reinforce their decisions. They feel bad about themselves already, and admitting they had been duped would seem devastating. Their minds block out the reality of the toxic beliefs, and they become faithful followers under an exploitative leader.

If they had felt self-worthy in the beginning, they would have discerned the unhealthiness of the group and refused to be part of it. But their addiction moves them to believe the unbelievable if it will provide at least a moment of relief. They don’t see the exploitation – or at least, they refuse to acknowledge it – because their low self-worth has allowed them to be exploited all their lives. It seems almost normal.

Victims of Abuse

Childhood abuse, whether sexual, physical or emotional, often leads to further victimization in adulthood. The abused feel detached and unloved. They function with a continual feeling of loss. Often they go to great extremes to fill the void left by abusive parents. Their faith is almost always poisoned by these early incidents. Some forsake God, blaming Him for the abuse. Others believe in God but consider Him to be detached and uncaring about individuals in pain. Still others replace God with a human being.

Attention from an adult friend, especially a father replacement, can set up a craving for more attention and vulnerability to be victimized again. Seeking a saviour, the adult child of abuse repeats being the victim. When the “saviour” turns out to be yet another victimizer, the act is so horrifying and degrading that there is often a complete break with reality. The victim blindly complies with the victimizer as the poisonous faith continues to grow.

Susceptible people have something in common with those who are not susceptible: They all hurt. All of us are hurting people; we all struggle with pain and disappointment. Religious addicts, however, believe they are the only ones who hurt. They think no-one else cares or has to endure their kind of pain. When a practitioner of toxic-faith arrives with what appears to be a heart of gold and a simple plan for an easy life, the followers are quick to sign up.

(from Toxic Faith, Experiencing Healing from Painful Spiritual Abuse).

The Extremes of Toxic Faith

Rebecca Grant had lived a hard life in the hot desert town of Barstow, California. Her father died when she was very young and her mother struggled to keep her and her sister in clothes. During the day, her mother sold tickets at the Greyhound bus depot; at night, she sold tickets at the theatre. On her days off, she cleaned their small, rented house and did chores. It wasn’t a wonderful existence, but her preserving spirit kept the family going.

Rebecca’s mother was a woman of faith, a Christian who believed that God had a plan for her life. If she remained faithful, she believed that she would see that plan and God would bless her faithfulness. She didn’t waiver from her beliefs. In the toughest of times, she didn’t doubt God’s love for her. She trusted Him to take care of her and her two daughters. She would do all she could do to provide for her family, and she would leave the rest up to God. She never worked on Sunday and always took the girls to church where they prayed and sang together.

Rebecca was close to her mother but not to her mother’s God. She enjoyed going to church because of the people there; it was something out of the ordinary routine of the week. She liked it, but she didn’t become a Christian. She doubted there was a God, and if He did exist, she felt distant from Him. He had never spoken to her or shown Himself to her, and He certainly hadn’t made life easy for her. She wanted to believe, but she rejected what she heard in church.

Rebecca heard a contorted gospel that continues to be preached from many pulpits – a distortion of truth, often times manipulative. She heard that if a person becomes a Christian, life will become easy. God will take care of everything. Miracles will occur and all problems will vanish. She was told that true believers in Christ are protected from the evil of the world. Faith in Christ was presented as an insurance policy against any pain in the present.

But Rebecca had a question: If God is so loving, then why does He allow my life to be so hard, and why does He force my mother to struggle so much? If there really were a God, He would help us.

The expectation of a problem-free life brought about by trust in God led Rebecca into a toxic faith. Her distorted view of what God should and should not do caused her to abandon the search for truth and latch on to anything that would bring relief from her misery and pain. She turned first to alcohol. Then it was drugs. Finally, she became promiscuous and contracted incurable genital herpes. Her suffering seemed to provide more proof that God either did not exist or was not interested in her. Her toxic faith pushed her behaviour to become increasingly destructive.

The Promise of Problem-Free Living

I wish I could say that Rebecca’s faith experience was uncommon, but it isn’t. More agnostics and atheists have been created by false expectations of an easy life from God than from any other false belief. When many men and women find that a faithful life does not free them from pain and discomfort, they turn from God.

Preachers who don’t fully explain the life of faith are partly to blame for these spiritual defections. They ought to make it plain that a biblical faith in God changes the believers’ perspective so much that the pains of life hit with less impact. God can use each hardship to bring greater faith and deeper peace from trusting that He is control.

It simply is not true that acceptance of Christ or belief in God will cause all problems to vanish. All difficulties do not go away simply because you turn your life over to God. In fact, just the opposite may occur!

When I first turned my life over to God, problems that I never knew existed seemed to cling to me like leeches. If I had been motivated to live for God by the promise of an easy life I would have made a serious error! If I didn’t believe God had set a standard for my life, I could have given in to every temptation without guilt or shame. But because I believed in God, I had a strong desire to fight the lure of sin that tempted me to stray from the will of God. At times it seemed as if some new temptations had been developed just to taunt me! It didn’t take me long to discover that the life of faith is not sugarcoated or pain-free.

Although Rebecca heard of an easy life through faith in God, like everyone else, believer and non-believer alike, she was forced to endure tragedies and hardships. False expectations of God frequently led to a toxic faith – or the extermination of faith entirely.

Naïve Faith

My mother grew up with a version of this toxic faith. She believed that dedicating her sons to God would spare them the heartache other children would have to endure. She thought that somehow her prayers and faith vaccinated us against evil and that temptations would not likely come our way—but if they did, we would not succumb.

The first blow to her toxic faith came when her father committed suicide. It hit her much harder than it would most others because she thought she and her family were protected. Even so, she didn’t give up her belief in a God who would prevent the natural course of nature or evil from harming her family.

When my brother contracted AIDS and eventually died, my mother was confronted in a most painful way with the fact that her faith, the faith of her family, did not supernaturally vaccinate us from terrible events. She struggled with his illness and with her faith at the same time. She sank into a deep depression, and at times I didn’t know if she would return to being the wonderful lady she had been all her life.

Fortunately, she did return to being that person. She made it out of her depression and back to reality. How? By dealing with her confusing ideas about faith and God. She yelled at God. She told Him it wasn’t fair. She admitted she had come to her faith as a way of making life easier. As she shared her anger and frustration with a God who did not do things according to her fondest wishes and expectations, she recovered from the death of her son. In the process she also recovered her faith. It is no longer toxic; it is whole. It has brought her into a new understanding of who God is and how He works. She is more deeply committed to God than ever before.
(Toxic Faith by Stephen Arterburn & Jack Felton)

You Thought I Was Finished!

Following is the rest of the list of the “Summary of Abuses” which I posted two blogs back. This list is found in Twisted Scriptures.

For each of the following abuses, ask yourself the following questions:

1. Was this applicable for my group?
2. Did I always think or act this way before I became involved with the group?
3. In respect to this point, what did our group teach that other churches don't normally stress?

In your group, did you see that...

• It was sometimes easier to say yes than deal with the guilt if one said no?
• Discipling was elevated to a place of primacy equal to our baptismal or marriage vows?
• There was a belief that one must be in a discipling relationship for his or her whole life?
• There was sometimes concealment of, or coloration of, the truth about why members left or were asked to leave?
• There was a selective recruitment process – leaders wanted only people who were willing to be totally dedicated to the program leaders?
• Leaders overwhelmed newcomers with love, acceptance, and lots of attention at the onset?
• Teachings used layers of truth, revealing existing policies a step at a time?
• There was a certain order in learning the group’s teachings (for example, one should experience the care of a discipler before learning about commitment to the discipler.)?
• Many members felt pressure to reach unrealistic standards of behaviour?
• Your group had odd traditions such as refraining from giving presents at Christmas?
• There was little respect for diversity?
• Certain kinds of deception were legitimized (for example, Word of God, had front groups such as UCO, MCA, Men’s Breakfast, Delta Chi Rho: when an event was advertised, they often didn’t show Word of God as the sponsor.) ?
• Members were taught that people outside cannot understand what we believe, and it is right not to disclose this information?
• Those who wanted to leave have difficulty in moving out of the group?
• Members’ self-worth and hope for salvation were tied to staying in the group?
• There were often subtle messages like: Are you going to leave after all we have done for you?
• Dying To Self was exaggerated into becoming over-responsible for others and under-responsible for one’s self?
• Teachings about selflessness reinforced the idea of an exaggerated call to sacrificial service?
• Your group stressed looking for opportunities to lay down your life?
• Healthy relationships (with friends in the group) were not to be expected to continue once you left?
• Members were encouraged to make smug remarks about those who left?
• Members were taught to interpret the Golden Rule “Love thy neighbour, forget thy self” instead of Loving your neighbour AS yourself?
• Legitimate goals and dreams of members were often reshaped?
• Assertive women often were turned into doormats?
• The importance of unity was emphasized instead of discovering the value of one’s uniqueness?
• The prevailing attitude was that objections and questions from members stemmed not from reasoned and fairly objective analysis but rather from the person’s spiritual or emotional problems?
• There was extreme teaching on subordination, obedience, submission instead of Matt. 20:25-28, Acts 11:1-4, or Gal. 2:14-21?
• The tendency to listen, believe, and obey resulted in an atrophy of critical and analytical thinking skills?
• Leadership fostered a sense of urgency in order to gain cooperation?
• Dissenting was always bad?
• Group policy of extreme submission often produced oppression of women?
• The group’s ideal of Christian womanhood promoted dependency?
• An overemphasis on subordination of women in order to produce a quiet, gentle spirit contributed to passivity, confusion, repressed anger, depression, and at times, compulsive behaviour on the part of female members?
• In your group, women were not seen as men’s peers?
• Motherhood and home-making were so highly praised as to give the impression that (for females) other interests were far inferior?
• Women who expressed or shared difficulties in their marriages were usually advised to submit, love, serve, and respect their husbands more?
• Members were rarely advised to seek professional counsel?
• It was usually decided that the one who needed to change was the woman instead of the man in order to put the marriage back on track?
• Men were encouraged to “have more distance” from their emotions or not to respond to them?
• The value of feelings and emotions was often disdained when these conflicted with the leader’s point of view?
• The underlying concept was that emotions are not a reliable guide to our actions, even when they are valid?
• Making a choice other than the one recommended by leaders was usually thought unwise or rebellious?
• Husbands were given an all-encompassing responsibility for their households – directing wives in all areas at all times – not just when problems arose?
• Sometimes mistrust was fostered in marriages as the husbands became more trusting of the disciplers?
• Some fathers were told to be “uncompromising” with children without regard to sensitivity to the children?
• This uncompromising attitude often led to emotional distance and unavailability of fathers?
• Single men were called on to give many hours of service?
• The group reduced marriage to merely a functional relationship?
• Friendships between men and women were often discouraged?
• Dating and courtship were highly controlled?
• Most members believed that they were only to date/marry other members?
• Disciplers demanded so much time that little was left to pursue old friendships or families outside the group?
• Some members were disillusioned because they expected as a participant in discipleship that life should go better?
• Many experienced disappointment and anger because compliance and faithfulness to the system went unrewarded?
• Many who once defended and promoted controlling leaders now feel that their integrity was compromised?
• There was a general mistrust of others outside the group?
• There was a general loss of personal privacy?

If you don’t understand how any one of these is detrimental, be sure to talk with an objective person to gain some perspective, otherwise you may miss some essential points.

Just In Case You’ve Ever Wondered

You joined your church because of its intensity for God. Like no other place, it’s helped you discover the meaning of obedience. Of teachableness. Of death to self. If there’s one problem, it’s the confusion that sometimes comes from your own carnal thinking. But God has given you leaders who can lovingly correct a doubting, independent spirit and help you choose God’s best for your life.

How can you go wrong with a church like that? Easily. What you’ve just read actually fits the profile of many abusive churches. Twisted Scriptures reveals in depth how the Bible can be distorted in ways that rob you of the liberty that Jesus died to give you. You might be shocked at what you discover. This book by Mary Chrnalogar uncovers the subtle but powerful techniques by which, in the name of truth, controlling leaders manipulate and intimidate countless believers. It also supplies tools for overcoming persuasive, deceptive teachings and practices.

Thousands of Christians have already moved from struggle to true freedom and hope through reading Twisted Scriptures. If you truly want to grow in everything God made you to be, you owe it to yourself to read this book.

“I did not realize that I was in an abusive ministry until I read Twisted Scriptures. I thought the author had followed me around for sixteen years when she wrote this book. It is so accurate.”
-- Former “disciple,” Dallas, Texas

“This is controversial … many sheep will be told not to read it. If anyone has told you not to read this book, you should read it immediately. This is an important book – not only to help victims to break out of bondage, but every pastor should be required to read it.”
-- Edward J. Green, PhD., University of Tennessee.

MARY ALICE CHRNALOGER has spent nineteen years working to rescue victims who were controlled by leaders of destructive or abusive churches. She is a respected international consultant in the field of cult education and has assisted in family interventions throughout the United States, as well as in Australia, Canada, France, Israel and Spain. Her book is the foundation of the unique program she uses to break the excessive and improper influences of leaders and abusive discipleship groups.

The book is published by Zondervan, Grand Rapids, Michigan. I obtained my copy from http://www.amazon.com/. You may want a copy of this book for someone else if you are concerned or for yourself if you’ve ever wondered.

A Summary of Abuses

Muriel Mooney, Peter Clark and Jo Noetzel left an abusive shepherding/discipleship community inside a mainline church. Together, they came up with a list of abuses perpetrated by the group. For each of these abuses, ask yourself the following questions:

1. Was this applicable for my group?
2. Did I always think or act this way before I became involved with the group?
3. In respect to this point, what did our group teach that other churches don't normally stress?

In your group, did you see that ...

• Leadership was excessively esteemed?
• Leaders were not accountable to members?
• You were led to think that good solid teaching outside this group was rare?
• Doctrine often focused solely on behaviour to the exclusion of theology?
• The group wanted you to give as much time as you possibly could to their activities?
• Everyone was expected to act together?
• There was a legalistic emphasis on external behaviours which resulted in loss of focus on Jesus?
• There was an excessive emphasis on commitment to the group?
• Guilt was an important emotional lever for producing compliance and conformity?
• Appropriate feelings were denigrated at times?
• Members were taught not to feel for themselves or their own needs but to think of the group and not complain?
• Denial and repression of feelings encouraged mood-altering addictive behaviours?
• There was a feeling that there wasn't any security outside the group?
• "Confidentiality" was used to isolate members from each other?
• There was control over channels of communication and information, and that some teachings and/or policies were kept secret?
• Withholding of information sometimes impaired sound judgments?
• Many were lead to believe that the church represents all that was good and necessary to meet our needs?
• Your leaders had a corner on wisdom?
• Members needed extensive teaching to be lead to Christian maturity?
• Members needed extensive accountability to other men to be lead to Christian maturity?
• You were taught to be very concerned about your commitment to each other?
• Members were constantly asked to subordinate their own experiences to the group's teachings, mission, and expectations?
• Former life experiences and lessons were less valuable than what you learned in the group?
• At times, there was enormous pressure to conform in areas of non-moral issues?
• Some members' identities/personalities were reshaped in the process of discipling: dress, voice, vocabulary and appearance all changed and objectivity decreased?
• Women were taught to have a gentle and quiet spirit in order to keep them from asking questions or becoming leaders?
• Criticism, analytical thinking, free exchange of opinion, and an opportunity to verify facts were sometimes denied?
• Some members regressed to child-like dependency?
• Group-will often took precedence over an individual's will for the sake of unity?
• Individuality was perceived to be bad, conformity and uniformity as good?
• Unity depended on submission?
• Leaders were responsible for directing the body, leading it forward in unity; the rest were expected to submit to their direction?
• God's way was very narrow and specific (more so than in the Bible), so that it often seemed that there was only one way to do anything?
• A wrong choice could mean leaving God's protection?
• You were to ignore your inner self and instead trust authority?
• "Gatherings are a matter of commitment; we're not simply free to decide"?
• Attendance at all community gatherings usually took precedence over visiting families or friends?
• Members were expected to renounce good or neutral values simply because they held them prior to becoming group members?
• Your group provided "new family" which became the focus of relationships previously sustained by your natural family?
• There were weddings in which the group was more involved than the couples' own families?
• Teachings may have encouraged a pessimistic world view at variance with Christian hope?
• Your own reality testing was diminished by relying largely on your leaders for their opinions?
• A discipler sometimes assumed the power to decide whether a member had a valid reason for not sticking to a commitment?
• Leaders had unilateral power to decide who could be asked to leave?
• Members were lead to believe that without intense accountability from another person, they could not grow as fast?
• "Something bad" might happen if you left the group?
• Members who wanted to leave were told that each one of you is leaving a relationship?
• Jargon or cliches were used to dismiss your legitimate concerns?
• Calling people into "accountability" was often a euphemism for controlling and meddling?
• Words were redefined, amplified, or given new meanings?
• Disciplers were not just persons "coming along side" for guidance but became instruments for coercing conformity?
• Members were often told they were "working on something" or "struggling" because leaders didn't think they were measuring up?
• Disciplers often developed pride and arrogance?
• The group believed that the way to live a good Christian life was to get discipled; almost as if the leaders teachings, structure, and committed relationships could save us?
• Often carrying out certain agreed-to actions became a sign of one's commitment?
• The group environment (shaped by legalism) bred a critical, judgmental spirit?
• Members used each other, expecting each other to drop all prior commitments and reschedule to help out a brother or sister in various ways?

(From Appendix 3, Twisted Scriptures by Mary Chrnalogar).

A Shell of the Truth, Stuffed with Lies

With a new generation of Health and Wealth -- also called Word-Faith -- teachers gaining widespread acceptance in mainstream Christianity, CRI President and Bible Answer Man, Hank Hanegraaff, is warning that their doctrines promote a "wildly distorted perception of what it means to be a Christian."

Hank calls the growing influence of the Word-Faith movement "one of the greatest threats to Christianity from within." He says he is especially concerned by the striking similarity between occult ideas popularized by secular authors like Rhonda Byrne, author of The Secret, and the writings of mega-church and T.V. preacher, Joel Osteen.

The Threat from Within

"Although Byrne and Osteen have noteworthy differences," Hank notes, "they agree that 'You are the Master of the Universe, and the Genie is there to serve you.'"

"For Byrne, the Genie is the 'law of attraction,'" Hank contends. "For Joel Osteen, it is the Word of Faith. Osteen writes, 'the moment you speak something out, you give birth to it. This is a spiritual principle, and it works whether what you are saying is good or bad, positive or negative.'"

In Word Faith theology, this principle is supposedly so powerful that even God is bound by it. But to make this point, Word Faith teachers have to twist God's Word. For instance, Osteen claims that "Scripture tells us that we are to 'call the things that are not as if they already were.'" However, Romans 4:17 says that it is actually God -- not us -- "who calls things that are not as though they were."

"Tragically," Hanegraaff adds, "Joel Osteen isn't the only Word Faith teacher who twists Scripture in order to advance dangerous doctrines." A host of prominent preachers have employed similar techniques, and Hanegraaff says they are plunging Christianity into an ever-deepening crisis.

Reaching the Deceived

"People flock to Word Faith churches because they are drawn to the promise of unparalleled prosperity and good health," Hank says. "But they don't see that people have swallowed the cyanide and are now sick and dying because the promises are empty."

Noting that Word Faith teachers operate using outward trappings of Christianity, Hank warns that "millions have fallen for a shell of the truth, stuffed with lies."

The good news is that many people are leaving the Word Faith movement and over the last fifteen years so many people can give credit to CRI (The Christian Research Institute) for being instrumental in getting them out of the movement. Hank says, "By God's grace, we will continue to minister to people who've been deceived by this counterfeit gospel."

(From Equip newsletter - Christian Research Institute, Vol. 21, Iss. 3 - April 2008)

I recently sent away and received the audio adaptation of Hank's highly acclaimed book, Christianity in Crisis. It uses the faith teachers' own words to expose their dangerous heresies. I highly recommend you visit Hank's website at www.equip.org to obtain this audio adaptation.

Twenty-One Beliefs of a Toxic Faith

Stephen Arterburn and Jack Felton have written a book titled "Toxic Faith" about "Experiencing Healing From Painful Spiritual Abuse." Following is a list which appears in Chapter 3:

Conditional Love
Toxic Belief #1: God's love and favour depend on my behaviour.
Instant Peace
Toxic Belief #2: When tragedy strikes, true believers should have a real peace about it.
Guaranteed Healing
Toxic Belief #3: If I have real faith, God will heal me or someone I am praying for.
Irreproachable Clergy
Toxic Belief #4: All ministers are men and women of God and can be trusted.
Monetary Rewards
Toxic Belief #5: Material blessings are a sign of spiritual strength.
Investment Tithing
Toxic Belief #6: The more money I give to God, the more money He will give to me.
Salvation By Works
Toxic Belief #7: I can work my way to heaven.
Spiteful God
Toxic Belief #8: Problems in my life result from some particular sin.
Slavery of the Faithful
Toxic Belief #9: I must not stop meeting others' needs.
Irrational Submission
Toxic Belief #10: I must always submit to authority.
Christian Inequality
Toxic Belief #11: God uses only spiritual giants.
Passivity
Toxic Belief #12: Having true faith means waiting for God to help me and doing nothing until He does.
Biblical Exclusivity
Toxic Belief #13: If it's not in the Bible, it isn't relevant.
Heavenly Matchmaking
Toxic Belief #14: God will find me a perfect mate.
Pollyanna Perspective
Toxic Belief #15: Everything that happens to me is good.
Bulletproof Faith
Toxic Belief #16: A strong faith will protect me from problems and pain.
Vindictive God
Toxic Belief #17: God hates sinners, is angry with me, and wants to punish me.
Mortal Christ
Toxic Belief #18: Christ was merely a great teacher.
Impersonal God
Toxic Belief #19: God is too big to care about me.
Divinely Ordained Happiness
Toxic Belief #20: More than anything else, God wants me to be happy.
Possibility of Gaining the Divine
Toxic Belief #21: I can become God.

Most of us began our journey into faith with trusting hearts. Yet incidents of abuse, media accounts of perverted religion, personal disappointment, loss, betrayal, and even unrealistic expectations of God, can cause us to develop a warped or damaged view of faith. Too often, what began as an authentic relationship with God deteriorates into a defective faith with an incomplete or poisoned view of God -- one that allows the religion, not the relationship with God, to control our life. If you need to heal your faith, you should pick up this book and read it. You will find it vey helpful!

Teach Your Children Well!

Following is a list of questions you may ask about a group. Take the time to answer as many as possible to help you identify problem areas and whether the group is a cult or not.

• What is so appealing about what the group offers?
• Does the group make its members feel good, fearful, or guilty?
• Does the group leader have a special charm and persuasion that its people find inexplicable and hard to resist?
• Do the people in the group seem a bit too friendly, loving, smiling, and happy?
• Do the people in the group visit or call and offer to help with almost anything?
• Does the group claim to have a special mission or calling that is unique and not found elsewhere?
• Does the leader claim to have unique powers, vision, knowledge, or other abilities?
• How many leaders have left the group, and for what reasons?
• What is the group's reputation in the community?
• Are there any checks and balances to the leadership and power structure?
• Does the group have a constitution or laws of government?
• How many meetings does the group have each week? Is attendance mandatory?
• Do the people talk about their pastor all the time, as though he were next to God?
• What is the group's view on leadership authority and discipleship?
• What is the group's view on dating and marriage?
• Does the pastor encourage the flock to read different Christian authors, or attend seminars and conferences sponsored by other churches and organizations?
• Is there an isolationist or elitist mentality?
• If the group is independent or non-denominational, to what associations does it belong?
• Have any other local pastors or civic leaders heard any complaints about the group?
• Check with selected religious or secular organizations that keep an eye on such groups. Do they know this group? Have they heard any complaints?
• Is the group affiliated with a larger, well-known and reputable organization?
• What are the credentials of the leader?
• How do your parents, other relations, or close friends feel about the group? Do they have reservations?
• Is the church rabidly separatist?
• What are the finances of the group? Is there secrecy? Does the leader live differently from the followers, drive a better car, take longer vacations, live in a nicer house, than people of comparable education and experience?
• Does the group motivate its members mostly through fear and guilt?
• Who invited you to the group or to the meeting? Was it a total stranger (if so, be very cautious)?
• Have any articles been written about the group? Any books?
• Do you know of any criminal investigations concerning the church or its leader?
• Was there a split in the group and why did it split?
• Are there disgruntled former members?
• Do the disgruntled former members, more or less, tell a similar story of why they left? Did they leave because they disagreed with either the teachings or the practices of the group or its leader?
• How was the disagreement handled?
• Does your "gut level" feeling about this group tell you from time to time that something is wrong?

We must ask and we must teach our children to ask such questions if we are going to cult-proof them and keep them out of the hands of false teachers.

(from Cult-Proofing Your Kids by Dr. Paul R. Martin)