Toxic-Faith Systems Are Punitive In Nature

Toxic Characteristic #4

Toxic-faith systems don’t have to be big to be toxic. In small churches across the world, congregations are led by toxic ministers every bit as manipulating and controlling as the head of a toxic mega-ministry. When a minister gains control of a small group, it seems that control can produce some of the most punitive forms of faith practice in existence.

One example comes from a small church in southern California. The minister was a small man who saw himself in a big way. He wanted total control over his congregation and they allowed him to have it. The control often took very negative and punitive forms.

An unmarried woman told the pastor that she had been involved in an affair with a married man in the church. She felt terrible about it and had broken off the relationship. She felt guilty and wanted to confess this to the minister and receive his help in moving back to a closer relationship with God. He was willing to help –- but only after he had put her through some very stressful situations. He forced her to go to the man’s wife and confess the sin to her. He forced her to go before the congregation and confess her sin before them. He forced her to agree not to date for one year as a sign of true contrition. Rather than offer her hope, he offered her a set of iron hoops that destroyed her personally as she jumped through each one, trusting they were the way back to her relationship with God.

Contrast that to the approach Christ took when confronted with the adulterous woman. He told her accusers to search themselves and anyone who was without sin could hurl the first stone. No one moved. Then he refused to provide a punitive system for the woman; he simply told her to go and sin no more. The woman felt the compassion of God, not his wrath, (which too many ministers take upon themselves to inflict).

Another incident in the church occurred when a group questioned the minister’s morality and his relationship with a woman in the church. They did not accuse him of adultery; the group was concerned about the undue attention and affection he obtained from the woman. The pastor attacked the main accuser and demanded that anyone having anything to do with the man be removed from the church. Sides were drawn immediately to support the faithful and to punish those who doubted the minister’s integrity.

In the name of righteousness, this and other mini-crusades have been carried out countless times in the church. Each punitive action divides the congregation and removes those who would attack the minister’s power. A minister addicted to power punishes and purges the system of anybody who would upset the status quo.

Those on the inside believe that God is difficult to follow -– and the leader is willing to go to great lengths to ensure the congregation pays the price to follow. To those on the outside, the whole ministry appears negative and punitive, out of balance, and distorted –- light-years away from the love, acceptance, and forgiveness freely given by God and His Son.

(From Toxic Faith, Chapter 6)