Establishing Friendships and Relationships

Young people also join cults for friendships and relationships.  Parents need to keep in mind that cults are usually better at showing attention, concern, and love than the average religious organization.  Part of cult-proofing your kids is to forewarn them that any group or person seeming to be too loving, too caring, and overly-concerned must be responded to with extreme caution.  

According to Harold Bussell, cultic recruits were attracted by "group sharing, community and caring."  In my own work with former cult members I can certainly concur.  One young college man I counselled was attracted to a cult because of the warm "relationships" between people.  A young woman who attended one of the Big Eight universities told me she joined a fringe church because they spent time with her, teaching her how to become a Christian.  A young man from the east coast joined a well-known cult, The Way International, because he "made a lot of friends in the group."  And a woman from Pennsylvania with a degree from the University of Michigan joined a hyper-charismatic fringe church because of the "fellowship."  She also said that the "relationships were phenomenal" in this group.  

Characteristics of Cultic Friendships

Cult members seem to be friendly, caring, sensitive and honest.  In realty, however, they are often dishonest, manipulative, and destructive.  Following is a list of characteristics of cultic friendships.

1. Cultic friendships do not encourage honesty and openness.
2. Cultic friendships are one-way relationships.
3. Cultic friendships do not affirm your talents and interests.
4. Cultic friendships discourage your relationships with friends and family.
5. Cultic friendships try to change your personality.
6. Cultic friendships try to change your morality.

(from Cult Proofing Your Kids by Dr. Paul R. Martin)

Healing for Emotional Hurts

Why do people join cults?  Doctrinal issues alone -- such things as the nature of God, the Trinity, the inspiration of Scripture, the return of Christ, the person and work of Christ, and the incarnation, -- have little, if anything, to do with why most people join cults.  The three main reasons why people join are: (1) healing for emotional hurts, (2) establishing friendships and relationships, and (3) spiritual growth.

Early childhood experience usually contributes to the emotional needs that one exhibits as an adult.  The unmet emotional needs of a child from a broken, cold, or abusive home may make a cult seem more attractive.  "Here," the person may reason, "is the love, the warmth, and the security that I never had as a child."  He or she may think, "I've found my true family."  The person enmeshed in the cult may often in fact start to call the leaders of the group "Mom" and "Dad."

Others are attracted to cults because they offer help with personal or drug problems.  Sad to say in these cults the members often feel more loved, cared for, and secure than in more traditional churches.  They enjoy teaching, often-wanted, and needed discipline, and a strong prayer life.  And they learn how to help and express love to others.  

Research shows that young people are more vulnerable to cultic affiliation during or immediately after suffering a severe crisis.  Some of these crises are the death of a relative or close friend; a broken romance or a divorce in the family; job loss or inability to find employment; poor grades or failure in school; excessive amounts of business-related travel for one or both parents; illness, whether of self or a close friend or relative; transition from high school to college; or, criminal victimization, including burglary, rape, or mugging.

Why are kids more vulnerable during or after one of these crises?  It is because each one of these situations represents a loss -- and introduces both a lack of control and feelings of helplessness.  We all need certain things to live life normally, including friends, a job, a sense of being accepted by our peers, a feeling of self-worth, and an absence of trauma.  

Most cults train their recruiters to minister to felt needs.  Susan, a college student, had recently lost a close friend and had performed poorly on exams.  Susan mentioned the loss of her friend to Leann, a casual acquaintance.  Leann, a fringe church member and active recruiter, carefully and sensitively responded to Susan.  They got into a conversation.  Leann listened attentively and occasionally uttered such remarks as, "Oh, that must be a terrible loss for you," or "You seem sad and feel that no one understands."  Finally, she offered to talk with Susan again, then she invited her to a meeting.  

People in cults or fringe churches are good listeners.  This casual friend allowed Susan to open up about her personal troubles.  During a crisis situation, Susan was not concerned with why someone would care so much about her problems, or why a casual acquaintance would seem a bit too caring.

Jehovah Witnesses actually recruit some members by reading and following up on the obituary columns, because they know people are vulnerable after the loss of a spouse, a relative, or a close friend.  One of my good friends, Don, lost his mother to the Jehovah's Witnesses after his father died.  In the first few weeks after his death, friends, relatives, and members of their church were supportive -- they sent cards and flowers, and made frequent visits with words of support.  People dropped off meals and offered to run errands but after the first several weeks the pastor, the church members, and the friends erroneously assumed the crisis was over.  They went back to their normal affairs and left the grieving widow alone but the Watchtower cult didn't; they continued to support Don's mother.  She was lonely and grieving, and they were there for her.

This woman had been active in the church all her life, and she prayed and read her Bible daily.  She took pains to see that her three sons were raised in the church and were active as Christians.  Nevertheless, she joined the Jehovah's Witnesses.  Why?  Simply because this group gave her the continued love, support, friendship, and understanding that she needed during a crisis.  Actually, people need the most support after the two-to-three weeks of a severe crisis or loss.  The cults have learned that when most people stop calling and showing care, that that is the time to begin.  They did it and the church didn't.  She is still a member of the Watchtower society, viewing the church she once faithfully attended and served as an apostate group falsely worshipping Jehovah.

(from Cult Proofing Your Kids by Dr. Paul F. Martin)

What Is A Cult?

Many Christians think they know all there is to know about cults.  They may reason something along these lines:  "Oh, I've heard about cults; you know, Jonestown, Satanism, and that survivalist group in Montana.  They're simply too smart -- anyway, they're very involved in our church ..."

However, most Christians actually know very little about cults and what makes people join cults. To test your own general knowledge about cults, take a few minutes to answer the following true-or-false quiz.

The Cult Susceptibility Quiz

1. I am lonely a good part of the time.
2. I tend to be a follower more than a leader.
3. I am not very satisfied with my church.
4. Somehow, I feel my idealism and purpose in life haven't been properly tapped or challenged.
5. I've been having some personal problems I can't seem to solve.
6. The cult issue is not much of a problem in society.
7. There are about ten to twenty cults in the U.S.
8. I could spot a cult with little effort.
9. Most cultists wear unusual clothing or uniforms.
10. Most cults recruit on the street by selling flowers or books, or by requesting a donation.
11. There are very few cultic problems within evangelical Christianity.
12. All cults teach non-Christian or heretical doctrine.
13. I'm not the type of person who joins a cult.
14. Most people who join cults are weird.  They have "problems."
15. Truly dedicated, Spirit-led Christians would never join a cult.
16. People are in cults because of spiritual problems.
17. People in cults are not "saved."
18. Cultism has little to do with totalitarianism or addiction.
19. People who join cults know what they are doing.
20. Groups that preach the Gospel and are winning many to Christ cannot be cultic.

If you answered "True" to any of these questions, you may be susceptible to cults.  Most people are susceptible to cults either because of unmet needs or ignorance of cult issues.  The first five questions on the above quiz suggest that personal unmet needs make a person vulnerable to the right pitch.  The remaining fifteen questions reveal typical "myths" and misinformation about the cult problem.

Everyone is Susceptible

Parents may not fully realize the subtlety and deceptiveness of the lure of the cults.  But the truth of the matter is, virtually anyone can get involved in a cult under the right circumstances.  The president of the student body at Wheaton College later became one of Jim Jones' right-hand men.  David Berg, a preacher's son who was briefly a Christian and Missionary Alliance pastor, later became one of the most notorious cult leaders in the 20th century.  The truth is that smart, well-adjusted kids from good Christian homes can and do join cults.  

One reason few recognize their vulnerability to cults is that we fail to understand that our society is faced with a growing and pervasive cult problem.  The danger from cults is more insidious than ever as cultic groups become more subtle and skilled in recruiting and retaining members.  Many older cults adapt to the times with cosmetic changes designed to make themselves look more acceptable.

The Definition of a Cult

Traditionally, cults have been defined as groups that deviate from the orthodox tenets of the Christian faith.  For example, Harold Bussell, author of Unholy Devotion:  Why Cults Lure Christians, states that among other things a cult is "any religious body that holds beliefs and practices clearly in opposition to historic Christianity as expressed in the Apostles' Creed."  In his book The New Cults, Walter Martin defines a cult as "a group religious in nature which surrounds a leader or a group which either denies or misinterprets essential biblical doctrines."  And Ronald Enroth has aptly commented that "for the Christian, the most significant component of a definition of a cult is theological in nature."  

While heresy can and does cause psychological damage, orthodoxy does not guarantee that similar psychological and moral injury will not occur.  Therefore, a strictly theological definition of the word cult is not enough.  There also needs to be a psychological definition.  Ronald Enroth points out that Christians have neglected the psychological aberrations of cults, and he quotes a concerned Christian layman who said, "I think there is merit for placing more stress on the other danger zones created by cults, such as psychological and moral injury, disruption of family ties, impairment of scholastic and professional careers.  

Therefore, many definitions of cults included not only theological, but also psychological elements.  Here are a few examples:

A group that uses methods that deprive individuals of their ability to make a free choice.  They use deceitful recruitment techniques, they deceptively and destructively use the devotees' energies and they capture the devotees' minds.

Destructive cults are those which tend to use extreme and unethical techniques of manipulation to recruit and assimilate members and to control members' thoughts, feelings, and behaviour as a means of furthering the leaders' goals.  Although most cults that have aroused concern are religious, they can also be politicial, commercial, or pseudotherapeutic.

A group or movement exhibiting a great or excessive devotion or dedication to some person, idea, or thing and employing unethically manipulative techniques of persuasion and control (e.g., isolation from former friends and family, debilitation, use of special methods to highten suggestibility and subservience, powerful group pressures, information management, suspension of individuality or critical judgment, promotion of total dependency on the group and fear of leaving it, etc.) designed to advance the goals of the group's leaders to the actual or possible detriment of members, their families, or the community.

With these above definitions in mind, another aspect of the cult problem becomes apparent -- cults can include groups and organizations that typically are not viewed as cults.  These could be fringe churches, psychotherapy groups, New Age organizations, and various extremist political movements.

(from Cult Proofing Your Kids by Dr. Paul R. Martin)

If you attend Barrie Victory Centre, you are in a cult.  Make no mistake about it.

Download/Circulate At Barrie Victory Centre

My wife and I once wrote our friend to warn her that in our opinion her church group had cultic tendencies.  What did she do?  She invited the pastors of the church over for dinner and then asked them if their group was a cult!  What do you think they told her?  "Yes, we are a cult, and we intend to harm you?"  Of course not.  Manipulative leaders of fringe or  cultic churches will never admit that they use guilt, fear, and intimidation to control their members.  

Our friend should have asked others.  If you are buying a used car, it would no doubt be wise to ask someone other than the dealer about the condition of the car.  Take it to a trusted mechanic for a check.  Ask your bank how much the car is worth.  Just so, if you are unsure of a church group, either one you are about to join or one in which you are currently involved, by all means ask questions!  Only by asking questions will you be able to identify whether or not a group is a cult.

Following is a list of questions you need to ask about a group.  You need to take the time to answer as many of them as possible.  They will help you identify the problem areas in a group and enable you to spot a group with cult-like tendencies. 

• What is so appealing about what the group offers? 
• Does the group make its members feel good, fearful, guilty, or a combination of those feelings?
• Does the group leader have a special charm and persuasion that its people find inexplicable and hard to resist?
• Do the people in the group seem a bit too friendly, loving, smiling, and happy?
• Do the people in the group visit or call and offer to help with almost anything?
• Does the group claim to have a special mission or calling that is unique and not found elsewhere?
• Does the leader claim to have unique powers, vision, knowledge, or other abilities?
• How many leaders have left the group, and for what reasons?
• What is the group's reputation in the community?
• What legal actions have been taken against them?
• Are there any checks and balances to the leadership and power structure?
• Does the group have a constitution or laws of government?
• How many meetings does the group have each week?  Are the meetings always required?
• Do the people talk about their pastor all the time, as though he were next to God?
• What is the group's view on leadership authority and discipleship?
• What is the group's view on dating and marriage?
• Does the pastor encourage the flock to read different Christian authors, attend seminars and conferences sponsored by other churches and organizations?
• Is there an isolantionsitic or elitist mentality?
• If the group is independent or non-denominational, to what associations does it belong?
• Check with other local pastors or civic leaders.  Have they heard any complaints about the group?
• Check with selected religious organizations or secular organizations that keep an eye on such groups.  Do they know this group? Have they heard any complaints?
• Is the group affiliated with a larger, well-known, and reputable organization?
• What are the credentials of the leader?
• How do your parents, other relations or close friends feel about the group?  Do they have reservations?
• Is the church rabidly separatist?
• What are the finances of the group?  Is there secrecy?  Does the leader live differently from the followers, drive a better car, take longer vacations, live in a nicer house than people of comparable education and experience?
• Does the group motivate its members mostly through fear and guilt?
• Who invited you to the group or to the meeting?  Was it a total stranger? (if so, be very cautious.)
• Have any articles been written about the group?  Any books?
• Do you know of any criminal investigations regarding the church or its leader?
• Was there a split in the group?  Why did it split?
• Are there disgruntled former members?
• Do the disgruntled former members all more or less tell a similar story of why they left?  Did they leave because they disagreed with either the teachings or the practices of the group or its leader?  How was the disagreement handled?
• Does your "gut-level" feeling about this group tell you from time to time that something is wrong?

We must ask and we must teach our children to ask such questions if we are going to cult-proof them in our society.

(from Cult Proofing Your Kids by Dr. Paul R. Martin)

Cults Offer Things That Are Too Good To Be True

Our nation has many programs to prevent consumer fraud and protect our money, yet there are no programs to prevent someone stealing our mental health or our very souls.  Unscrupulous business people selling a defective product or service cannot hide behind the first amendment but religious cults can and constantly do.  When the abusive work of destructive religious cults [such as Barrie Victory Centre] is exposed, the cry often is, "Religious discrimination!"

Whenever anyone offers you a product or service, you should always ask yourself if this sounds too good to be true.  If it does, then it probably is too good to be true.  As Jeannie Mills, a defector from Jim Jones's People's Temple who was subsequently murdered, said:  

When you meet the friendliest people you have ever known who introduce you to the most loving group of people you have ever encountered, and you find the leader to be the most inspired, caring, compassionate and understanding person you have ever met, and then you learn that the cause of the group is something you never dared hope could be accomplished, and all of this sounds too good to be true -- it probably is too good to be true!  Don't give up your education, your hopes and ambitions to follow a rainbow.

(from Cult Proofing Your Kids by Dr. Paul R. Martin)

Cults Discourage Individual Freedom

Much of the concept of freedom as we know it today originated from the Judeo-Christian tradition, as many authors have pointed out.  The Westminster Confession clearly states the principle of liberty:  "God alone is Lord of the conscience, and hath left it free from the doctrines and commandments of men...and an absolute and blind obedience, is to destroy liberty of conscience, and reason also."

Freedom implies loyalty to truth, to conscience, and to the ability to make one's own decisions about matters of faith, ethics, and morality.  Cult leaders, however, claim that their members are not equipped to make wise personal decisions.  They attempt to dictate the members' use of time, dating lives, thoughts, beliefs, and who they marry, among other things.  

The lack of freedom lies at the core of cultism.  In fact, it is the breeding ground for cultism.  

(from Cult Proofing Your Kids by Dr. Paul R. Martin)

The Grand Poo-Bah says to Evan Matthews:  

We seem to have a lot in common.  I feel for your situation and totally relate.  Barrie Victory Centre and churches like it tend to rip families apart rather than unite them.  The reason is that you and I have spiritual discernment which is given by the Holy Spirit.  Our families seem to be lacking in this area.  

This church is a cult and is telling their people that they are the only church with the truth.  You and I know that this is not true.  You cannot be a follower of Barrie Victory Centre unless you believe this to be true.

My personal opinion is that Barrie Victory Centre is a training centre for "Christian Terrorists."  They believe very strongly in the concept of  "in-your-face" religion.  One of my sons lost a 60K a year job because of  "in-your-face" religion.   He had his Bible open on his desk all day at work where others could see it.  His religion was the only thing he was able to talk about while at work.  I believe he was consequently let go for this reason.  This could not be stated as the reason because it would be "religious discrimination."  Barrie Victory Centre and churches like it are training their members to be super-militant when it comes to their faith at any cost.

These people are so militant that you don't dare question what they believe. Try disagreeing with them face-to-face and see what happens!  I tried it and the BVC follower immediately became incensed and began to scream and yell in close proximity to my face at the top of their lungs.  When I tried to talk to them to express my point of view, I was shouted down with finger-pointing hand gestures so that I couldn't talk.  You finally give up and stop talking because there is no point in continuing.  This is exactly what they want.  They are not interested in what you have to say because they believe they are the only one who knows anything about the subject.

They have learned this technique from the church on how to deal with opposition.  It is likely demonstrated to the congregants on a regular basis. Do not listen, do not allow a differing point of view to be expressed.  Do not allow the opposition to speak.  Shut them down.  If you yell loud enough and long enough, gesture forcefully enough with your finger, they will eventually back down.  This technique makes followers feel right, vindicated and victorious.

If you are trying to deal with members of Barrie Victory Centre, be prepared to be brutalized, verbally abused, and possibly physically as well.  This is not true, however, if you are willing to keep your mouth shut.  This is the only way you can have any kind of relationship with family members. I find it very difficult to believe that I have actually witnessed some of the things I have seen and heard from members of my family since they became involved with Barrie Victory Centre.  We should talk, Evan!

Cults Stress Experience Over Reason

Do we "know" the truth because we experience something?  No.  We know the truth only after we examine the evidence, weigh it, ask questions, look for contradictions, and then make an informed commitment.

Followers of Guru Maharaj Ji, the leader of the Hindu cult called the Divine Light Mission, "knew" he was the truth because they tasted "divine nectar," saw a "divine light," and heard "divine music" after they followed some of his meditation practices.  Another example of "knowing" by experiencing would be the devotees of Jim Jones, who were convinced of his legitimacy because of his "healings," his "words of knowledge," and his apparent compassion for the poor.

And Christians can make the same mistake.  In the midst of a public discussion on a university campus on the resurrection of Christ, a pastor rose to address the audience and, he thought, to settle the issue once and for all.  He said, "I know Jesus lives and that He arose from the dead, because He lives within my heart."  He was repeating the phrase from the old hymn "He Lives," but almost everyone cringed at the totally subjective and anti-intellectual nature of this pastor's "faith."  

(from Cult Proofing Your Kids by Dr. Paul R. Martin)

Cults Misuse the Holy Spirit

Many spiritual "gimmicks" masquerade as signs of the Holy Spirit.  Former child evangelist, Marjoe Gortner, could "slay" others in the Spirit and perform "healings," and then get people to "speak in tongues" -- and this was long after he threw out his Christian beliefs.  Often hailed as the world's youngest ordained preacher, he grew increasingly disenchanted with the preaching gig and quit at age thirteen.  Some fourteen years later he wanted to expose other evangelists and healers as charlatans and showmen.  Gortner cooperated in the production of the movie Marjoe, depicting the fraud and slick showmanship many preachers use to convince the flock that the power of the Holy Spirit is moving in their particular service.

Franz Anton Mesmer (1734-1815), the great hypnotist-scientist, could duplicate almost anything seen in a modern-day charismatic service.  Claiming that he could cure people with magnets, he "cured" a number of hysterical patients who suffered from neuralgia and various other ailments such as convulsions.  His theory of  "animal magnetism" was that magnets could transfer certain fluids from the atmosphere to the body, thus rejuvenating it.  He was unanimously rejected by the scientific community.  It was later learned that his procedures were based on the principles of hypnosis.  Thus, the word "mesmerized" now refers to one being hypnotized or spellbound.   One of Mesmer's tricks was to lay a rod on the shoulder of people who sought a cure.  Immediately, these people would fall backward having lapsed into an unconscious state.  Mesmer's procedure appears identical to the modern-day healer or evangelist who, placing a hand on the forehead of someone coming forward for prayer and healing, causes the person to lose consciousness and fall backwards "slain" in the Spirit.  Mesmer was doing this long before the modern-day charismatic movement began in the early 1900s.

Some non-Christian religions also practice speaking in tongues, healing, and "spiritual dancing." Many consider these practices problematic for Christians because they can be so easily imitated by those who are not Christians.  All of these phenomena represent altered states of consciousness that can be induced by a variety of means, including deep relaxation, mixed messages which produce confusion or divided attention, heightened emotional arousal, and physical fatigue.  The biblical admonition to "test the spirits to see whether they are from God" (1 John 4:1) still applies.  We must exercise extreme caution should our child or loved one join a group where "supernatural signs" are present.  Does the church claim that such signs are unique to them?  Are the signs accompanied by sound doctrine?  Who are the people performing these miraculous signs?  Are the healings open to medical verification?  Does the pastor forbid others to question his authority or power?  If so, the group is probably cultic.

(from Cult Proofing Your Kids by Dr. Paul R. Martin)