Abusive Disciplers

Leaders in most discipleship groups will admit that their rules are different than those in most churches. In truth, they feel they are closer to what and authentic Christian experience should be.

When did you agree to the rules? When did you find out what the rules were? The rules of abusive discipleship are not evident in the beginning. What is initially obvious is a great display of personal attention, love, and caring. This is what people usually (and understandably) find so attractive about such groups. They will also tell you that you can grow much faster spiritually by having a discipler who is wiser than you in the Lord. You will be assigned a "buddy" to stand along side who will be your constant friend. The problem is that it won't be long before growth changes to restrictions by controlling techniques.

As your relationship with the abusive discipler develops, you find out that there are rules -- actually more rules than you might have expected.

Abusive Disciplers Expect You to:

• Make considerable time in your schedule for them.
• Call them frequently to get advice.
• Meet with them often.
• Share with or confess your sins to them, and to be "transparent" to them in every area of your life.
• Trust them with all your most intimate secrets -- even though they may have nothing to do with sin.
• Discuss even your non-moral decisions with them.
• Trust the advice your discipler gives you and obey this discipler in every area of your life.

You may be led to believe that any violation of the discipler's rules can be a sin. This is part of the deceptive and hidden agenda built into the program. It's also considered sinful to break your committment and end the relationship.

In a controlling discipleship, there are other ideas that are hidden from you. Aberrant discipleship teaches new meanings for such words as obey, submit, die to self, and brokenness. Abusive disciplers expand the meanings far beyond what the Bible teaches, to imply that anytime that you don't want to accept the advice of a leader, you are likely not sufficiently obedient, submissive, broken, or dying to self. These non-Biblical definitions are usually concealed until the abusive disciplers feel you are trustworthy enough to be given their teachings in full. (From "Twisted Scriptures" by Mary Alice Chrnalogar)